Welcome to a wide ranging conversation about human relationships.

Call it relational intelligence, emotional literacy or social emotional learning; whatever we choose to call it, how well our sons and daughters observe, interpret and engage in emotional interactions will be central to their successes in life. For our purposes at Remaking Manhood, we have chosen to use relational intelligence. This is because, for us, emotions are always born in relationship to others, in the relational spaces between people.

The influences that impact how well or poorly we create relationships are located at the intersection of personal history, culture, gender narratives, social conditioning, race, class and much more. But one thing is certain. Human beings need and desire meaningful authentic relationships. This is central to our individual and collective well being. We need relationships for our own well being. Additionally, we cannot collectively survive without the kinds of strong diverse relationships which make up healthy communities. Relationships are the lifeblood of any sustainable society.

Any of us can choose to begin this work at any time. We can choose to grow relational capacities within ourselves and we can encourage their growth within our children. We simple have to begin those conversations.

Which brings us to our mission:

We must commit to granting our children their birthright. Their birthright is their inherent capacity to form authentic, emotionally vibrant relationships. All we need do is stop training them out of these capacities, either by action or inaction. Through helping them grow their relational intelligence, we can insure they become what they are born to be, emotionally connected, joyful and thriving human beings.

Below are videos outlining some of the challenges and opportunities our sons and daughters will encounter as emotionally vibrant human beings embedded in a world of relationships. Look for our posts on specific age appropriate ways to grow relational intelligence. We will continue to add additional videos, resources, reading lists and more. Thanks for coming and please join our conversations on Facebook. We’d love to hear your thoughts.

Warm regards,
Mark Greene
Saliha Bava, PhD

The Male Emotional Suppression Cycle in 50 Seconds.

Just the brutal facts. That’s how we describe this depiction of the process by which boys and men are shamed and bullied into suppressing their emotions and hiding their authentic selves. The result is epidemic levels of isolation for men resulting in mortality risks equivalent to individuals who smoke two packs of cigarettes a day.  America’s epidemic of isolation is rooted in the shaming of our sons.

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Our American Epidemic of Loneliness

This 60-second video is designed to spark a conversation about how relationship building capacities hold the key to creating rich rewarding personal and professional lives for us and for our children. Call it relational intelligence, social emotional learning, or emotional capacities, by any name, growing these capacities is crucial to ending America’s epidemic of isolation.

When Are Our Sons First Taught to Man Up?

This four minute video features author and researcher Judy Chu and Good Men Project Senior Editor Mark Greene discussing the culture of male emotional toughness and the suppression of children’s emotional expression which will have a serious and lasting the impact over the course of our children’s lifetimes.

How Does Playful Parenting Help Grow Our Children’s Relational Intelligence?

In this new four minute video, Mark Greene and Saliha Bava, co-authors of the upcoming “The Forever Book”, share ideas about how intentionally playful parenting can grow our children’s relational intelligence.

Why Social Emotional Learning Belongs in Every School

This 90 second video featuring Sarah Zeller-Berkman of CUNY’s School of Professional Studies, outlines the transformative power of Social Emotional Learning programs in our public schools.

The Remaking Manhood Blog

The Transformational Power of She, a Choreoplay about Violence Against Women

Just two nights ago I saw the production of She in New York City. Written and choreographed by dancer Jinah Parker and directed by Phaedra Michelle Scott, She is a life-changing theatrical experience. You can not watch this play and not be shocked into a reappraisal of your world, compelled by the clarity and passion embodied by She’s actors and […]

A Simple Guide for Looking at Women on the Street: Glancing Vs. Staring

I don’t hold eye contact, I don’t look for more than a second and I don’t let my gaze linger. I do all these things out of respect for one simple fact.   I live in New York City where, when I walk down the street, I see literally thousands of women a month walking […]

Guess What? Women Also Struggle with Emotional Expression

There is a commonly held cultural narrative which goes something like this: Men who share their emotions make better husbands and fathers. Women value this in a prospective partner because women are already naturally able to share their emotions. In a nutshell, women are the emotionally able ones, men can learn to be. Growing more empowered relational capacities for […]

A Manifesto: Relational Intelligence For Our Children

A manifesto: We must commit to granting our children their birthright, which is their inherent capacity to form authentic, emotionally vibrant relationships. All we need do is stop training them out of these capacities, either by action or inaction. Through helping them grow their relational intelligence, we can insure they become what they are born to be, emotionally connected, joyful and thriving human beings. *** We Need to Redefine […]

How We Help Children Create Relationships is Crucial

When we help our kids grow their relational capacities; namely how they create and care for relationships, it insures a better life for them. Emotional intelligence or emotional quotient (EQ) is commonly understood to mean emotional self-awareness, the ability to name, understand and manage our emotions. You may also be aquainted with the term Social Emotional Learning, […]